


Faint, But Not Forgotten

by AllTheLokisWelcome7



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Act 2 Spoilers, Action Sequence, Amnesia, Angst, Both Platonically And Romantically, Briefly Dubious Relationship, Canon Divergence, Erik Suffers 2019, Fluff, Found Family, Happy Ending, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Blood, Misconceptions About Relationships, Non-binary character, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Redemption, Rescue, Reunion, discussions of ethics, lots of platonic relationships - Freeform, memory bleed, platonic physical intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-12 22:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20135761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheLokisWelcome7/pseuds/AllTheLokisWelcome7
Summary: The pain of every loss Erik has experienced in his life grows to be too much for him. With nothing left to bring hope into his days, Erik wishes he could forget it all, a wish that against all odds is granted. Finding him in a sorry state, El and the rest of the party must find a way to comfort Erik, and bring the truth to light.





	Faint, But Not Forgotten

Erik woke up on the cold, rocky ground, a sharp intake of breath searing his chest. He sat up quickly, gripping his head tightly, tugging at the hair between his fingertips.

_Where am I? What happened?_

A Hades condor cried overhead, and he jolted as he quickly glanced towards it, his spinning vision protesting the movement.

The sky was dark. An imposing, dense darkness, nothing like the clear air of the night he was familiar with. Something terrible had happened; the twisting in his stomach assured him of that.

His journey had been important, filled with more friends than he could fathom, and one light amongst them shone particularly bright. He closed his eyes, chasing the distant memory.

An immovable body, silhouetted against a searing light, arms spread protectively. A scream, agonised, its source unable to be determined.

“_El!”_

“_Erik!”_

Blood rushed to his ears as his heartbeat quickened, a pain sharper than even his first conscious breath in this suffocating new world plunging into his chest.

_El!_

Erik searched around himself, fear widening his eyes as he found that he was alone. No one from his party was nearby, no one to reassure him that everything would work out. His breaths came in short, panicked gasps as he understood this, and remembered what had happened.

El was gone, having shielded them all from a fierce attack, protecting them with his life. Protecting _him._

_It should have been the other way around! _came the aggressive thoughts, unbidden.

Forgiveness was supposed to come after Erik had earned it by keeping his El safe, and he had failed. Guilt twisted his heart like a knife as defeat enshrouded him.

_It should have been _ me! _Who needs a rotten thief when the world needs the Luminary?!_

The hillside echoed around him as the scream tore from his throat, wild and raw. It ended with an angry wail, the sob forcing him to his knees as he slammed the ground with his fists, ignoring the grazes forming against his knuckles. Pain wracked through his body, wave after wave of grief twisting through his insides like knives.

As his energy left him, depleted from his outburst, he lay there feeling nothing and everything as the unyielding stone lay cold against his cheek. He no longer cared what happened to him.

_Without El, without Mia, there's no light in my world. No need for me..._

This thought plagued him until his exhausted body dragged him into unconsciousness. When he came to, all he knew was his name, screamed to him by a voice he no longer recognised.

* * *

Several months passed, and as fate would have it, Erik found himself upon a vessel filled with people who knew him. He stared up at the person closest to him, mouth agape. The boy was quite beautiful, with luscious brown hair and large blue eyes, but he seemed to have a peaceful aura about him that only added to the allure. Something about him made him feel... protected.

Erik's hand rested at his right hip, although he was unsure why. What he _did _know was that his breaths were slowly becoming less ragged, no longer harsh to his ears. Slowly, he pulled his hand away from where muscle memory had taken it, watching as the other's eyes were drawn to the motion. There was something akin to pain in the boy's face.

“Where is your dagger?”

Thick blue eyebrows furrowed with confusion, only intensifying the wild quality of his fearful eyes.

“My dagger?”

A wave of gasps and pitying stares ran through the small crowd, bringing an unpleasant lump to his throat. That reaction felt so much worse than not remembering who they were.

Their leader, who introduced himself as El, shook his head sadly.

“You once told me that it was precious to you. Hopefully it has only fallen to the bottom of your pouch.”

_Pouch._

Erik felt the weight of the small bag at his left hip, slowly slipping his hand into it. As he rummaged, bare fingertips brushing against its contents, his mind started piecing together their uses from touch alone. Despite his best attempts, he was unable to recall their names.

_Healing. Antidote, magic. Fire starter._

His hand closed around a hard strip of leather, and he gingerly pulled it out, gazing at it. Mottled orange leather stared at him from between his fingers. This was revealed to be a sheath as his gaze followed the object first to one tip, then the other, a hilt wrapped in fading red leading to the glimmering bronze eye of the pommel. A vague sense of familiarity tugged at the edges of his mind.

“That's the one,” El assured him, relief bringing a gentle smile and sparkling eyes to his face. It made Erik's heart flutter.

“Be sure to keep that with you,” the tall one, Sylv, encouraged. Erik could only nod as he slipped it back into his bag.

“You should stay down here,” the long-haired one, Jade, offered. “It'll be safer for you until you can recover.”

Once more, he nodded, cautiously eyeing an upturned crate.

“Leave the cleaning up to us. Just go lie down.” She pointed to a nearby hammock, which he hesitantly climbed into. El sat on the ground by his foot, which still hung over the side. Even though they weren't touching, or looking at each other, the gesture felt strangely intimate.

Sylv gave a smile that knew more than Erik could read, leaving the pair alone with a graceful wave, before lightly closing the door.

“So,” Erik started, voice hesitant and throat aching. Maybe he should have asked for water too. “You all know me.”

The brunet nodded.

“And I knew you.”

“That's right.”

“Was there... anything between us, specifically? Anything that would be important to know?”

El bit his lip. From where he lay, Erik found himself unable to tell whether the other was avoiding eye contact or not. Finally, the boy spoke.

“Out of everyone, we've known each other the longest.”

Arms found their way behind his head, and Erik studied the carved patterns in the wooden ceiling for a moment, relaxing into the natural gesture. There was more to this story than he was hearing.

“So we were the closest?”

El's fist clenched into his duster, before he seemed to catch himself and slowly unfurl his fingers. A note of sadness entered his wistful voice.

“More than you know...”

Guilt filled his heart, his stomach churning. He briefly wondered if he would be able to keep down the food that he had hastily devoured.

“I'm sorry...”

It felt like the apology was all that Erik could say today. El twisted slightly, leaning on his hand as he turned to face him. The strained attempt at a reassuring smile did little to brighten his face.

“Whatever has happened to you, it wasn't your fault. We'll work out how to get your memory back, and even if we don't, we'll make new memories together. Just take it at your own pace.”

_Just take it at your own pace._

Tears began burning Erik's eyes, the distant memory of those same words barely recalled. He squeezed them shut, focusing hard on the wisps of thought, and the tug at his heartstrings.

“_You don't have to be brilliant at it. It's enough that you learn the basics.”_

_The basics of what? _Erik wondered. He ran his hands over his scalp and tugged at his hair, desperately trying to spark more of the memory. He remembered a scent that he couldn't name, and a phantom touch on the back of his hand. Everything felt so warm.

“Erik?”

The soft voice from his memory was louder now. As he opened his eyes, there were a few blinks of confusion before he turned to the voice. El had shifted to face him now, on his knees, and he had caught himself reaching towards his boot. His large eyes were filled with concern. The room around them felt much colder than it had a moment ago.

“What happened?”

He had definitely known the person in front of him, if nothing else.

“I know your voice.”

Relief softened El's features, his eyes silently urging him to continue. Erik merely shook his head, another apology caught on the tip of his tongue.

“That's it, though. I don't know what we were doing.”

El paused, his hand finding his own chin as his nose scrunched in a thoughtful expression. A bright smile crept onto his face. In that moment, it felt like no other expression belonged there.

“I was teaching you how to dry herbs for the road. You kept burning them, but when you finally got it, that was the first time I'd seen you so happy.”

Erik had no choice but to smile at his enthusiasm. Absently, he wondered if the sharp scent came from his successful attempt, or the failures.

“I had fun, that night in the Manglegrove. Even though we were on the run.”

_Manglegrove? On the run? What is he talking about?_

El watched the confusion cloud his friend's features. His lips pulled into a sympathetic smile, and his hands fell to his own knees as he slowly started swaying side to side. The motion seemed natural, a habit that encompassed both peace and restlessness, somehow.

“Our journey started in an unusual way. You were exactly where I needed you to be, or so the Seer said, which even now I am still so thankful for.”

The smile grew larger on his lips, filled with a warm affection, and a hint of excitement. Clearly, whatever they had was much stronger and deeper than what Erik could properly wrap his head around.

“I owe you my life on more than one occasion.”

Erik felt his fists curl tightly, only distantly aware of the movement, as a missing heartbeat cursed his breath to come in short gasps. Shudders seized his body, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his fists reaching unfeelingly for his temples as grunts of pain whistled past his clenched teeth.

“Erik?!”

_I owe you my life._

Erik felt as though he were drowning, ears ringing and head swimming with distant, clammy thoughts. A sensation clawed at him, telling him that he had thought these very words many times, although it escaped him if he had ever uttered them. Unnamed emotions warred inside of him.

_What am I feeling? Am I dying? I can't even tell if I'm hot or cold..._

The weight of the hammock left his back as he reached for his emotions, searching desperately for some semblance of familiarity, of understanding.

_I... belong to El, don't I? If I owe him everything, then I have to stay with him. He needs me, just as much as I need him._

Sleep reached for him, tearing at his hands and dragging him towards the deep unknown. Erik let it.

* * *

“He'll be alright, honey, but he needs his rest. It was a good thing you called me when you did.”

El barely paid attention to Sylv's soothing words, or the soft hand resting steadily on his back. He felt numb, his mind buzzing at the edges, and his eyes were burning from watching Erik ceaselessly. They had done everything they could to keep him warm and comfortable. Even so, as he gazed upon his prone form, swaddled in blankets and blessedly still, guilt and sorrow gnawed at him.

Sylv made him promise to keep reminiscing to a minimum. He had no idea what to do with himself, if he had no way of sharing his life with Erik as wholly as they had. Tears welled on his lower lids as the weight of an unknown and potentially Erik-less future pressed against him. So strong were the fears that he could not keep them silent, his voice emerging as a cracked whisper.

“What if he never remembers? We can't be together if he doesn't remember me; it'd be wrong.”

Sylv pulled him into a hug, their hand running protectively through his hair.

“It's certainly complicated. But, even if he doesn't remember who he is, frequent feelings don't change as readily as memories can. If you feel like you would be taking advantage of him, then don't pursue a relationship, but he is the same person he always has been. Even if he doesn't remember, it's clear that he still trusts you, sweetie. And, most importantly,” Sylv's eyes shifted from El's hunched form to Erik's. “What he needs most right now is a friend.”

“You're right, Sylv... You always are. Thank you.”

“We'll get his memories back, darling. I promise you that.”

El nodded numbly, slowly climbing into the chair they had moved to face Erik. Sylv gave him a last pat on the back before leaving quietly.

* * *

It had been three hours since Sylv left him to his thoughts, only Jade returning with dinner and a pat on the shoulder disrupting them. His eyelids were sagging and painful from staying awake when Erik returned to consciousness.

“Hey,” El croaked tiredly, a pained smile painting itself on his face. Erik twisted to lie on his side, then stared at him incredulously, mouth agape.

El's eyelids were a mottled pink, inflamed and slightly swollen over his agonised blue eyes. His lips were cracked, too dry, only adding to the pain in his expression.

_What happened?_

“Are you okay?”

“I...” El started, swallowing thickly. “I am now. Moreso, I mean.”

Erik glanced around the room, his gaze landing on a tray of untouched food and several waterskins that rested on the low table.

“Can you pass me one of those?” He pointed to a skin. Joints cracking from his previous lack of movement, El leaned over to take one, then handed it to him.

Erik drank needily, downing half the container in one go, then leaned forward carefully. His eyes were intense as he held the waterskin to his friend.

“Drink up.”

“I'm not thirsty-”

“Drink. Up.”

El licked at his lip, eyes widening slightly as he realised what Erik was trying to say. He accepted it quickly, draining the rest, before distributing the remaining skins. They sipped at these, dividing up the food to eat in a comfortable silence. As El's shoulders sagged with relief, the moment grew peaceful, familiar. It felt like home. Erik quietly basked in the feeling until long after they had finished, closing his eyes and rubbing his stomach with contentment.

Instead of staring for too long, or losing himself in the desire to rub Erik's stomach for him, El piled their dishes onto the tray. Erik's eyes slid half open to watch him, a lazy grin on his face. Moments like these made it hard to not fall into intimate old habits.

“You should get some rest,” Erik offered, patting what he realised was now a bed. Had they moved him while he slept?

“No, it's okay.”

El stood to take the tray out, but faltered, his arms trembling with fatigue. Erik frowned, lithely getting to his feet, taking the tray, and setting it on the table. El gaped at him, flooded with concern. Erik gave him a pointed stare, hands on his hips as he tried to ensure that he had learned his lesson. A little laugh reached their ears, the corners of El's eyes crinkling with mirth as Erik joined in.

Erik sat down first, quickly tucking his knees up and rolling until his back came to rest with a soft thud against the wall, leaving plenty of room for El to join him. He stretched his legs back out casually, then patted the bed again.

“Seriously, you need to rest, and there's plenty of room for both of us. Come here.”

Reluctantly, El agreed, the arrangement sweetened by familiarity and Erik's unyielding logic. Relief and fatigue washed through him as the mattress welcomed him, the soft pillow beneath his cheek enticing him to close his eyes. Erik shuffled over, pressing lightly against his back, arm looping beneath his and around his torso protectively. The heated embrace combined with his unforgettable scent put him at ease. Enveloped in a blanket of bliss, El forgot the situation for long enough to find a restful sleep.

Erik lay awake for hours, his mind wandering. Pressing close to his friend had felt so effortless, El quickly relaxing into a comfortable slumber in his arms, and it warmed his chest painlessly.

_We really were close before, huh? But what did we have exactly? Well, whatever it was, it's important. I would do anything for you, y'know. Absolutely anything._

A bright smile graced his face as he nuzzled lightly into El's hair. Sleep dragged at him through his cloud of contentment, closing his eyes and coaxing him to let go of his alertness. He gladly gave himself over to the sensation, wrapped incomforts as he was.

* * *

Erik awoke first, his eyelids flying open as he noticed the solid warmth in his arms. His body went still and rigid as his mind froze. Slowly, as he processed his surroundings, he calmed his breathing and began to relax once more.

He watched El steadily, transfixed by the fall of his hair reaching for the pillow, and the subtle movement of his shoulder with each breath. Something tugging at the inside of his chest told him that this scene was familiar, but no memories rushed back to him. Still, he was largely unbothered by the realisation; the endless bliss enshrouding his heart, along with the way a fog that covered his brain and stole his sight had lifted significantly overnight, endeared him to this new life.

An inexplicable urge to express his gratitude overwhelmed Erik. His sleep-addled mind did not protest, and soon he was pressing adoring kisses into El's hair and temple. El, awoken from his slumber by the gesture, giggled sleepily. Surprise and excitement spiked through Erik's heart, urging him to kiss along his jaw and neck, eyes closed with pure delight.

A soft hand cupped his cheek. For some reason that Erik was unable to explain away, it felt wrong. Hesitantly, as though he had been struck, Erik demurely opened his eyes and glanced at him nervously.

El was no longer giggling.

Erik pulled away quickly, beginning an apology when El gently put his finger to his lips. He rolled to fully face the former thief, his face calm but his eyes wavering with sadness. He was slow to take a breath, deep and steadying, which filled the silence loudly. When he spoke, his voice was subdued, filled with the unchecked whispers of heartbreak and regret.

“Erik... I'm sorry, sweetheart, but this is wrong.”

Erik bit his lip harshly, fighting desperately to keep the apology and fear out of his words.

“What is?”

“Resuming our relationship like nothing happened. It's not fair to you that I remember more about what we had. You didn't even know who I was yesterday.”

“Why should that matter? I still know what I feel!” Erik replied immediately, his eyes burning and throat constricting with pain and fear.

An agonising sadness flickered over El's features before he quickly turned his head away. Fumbling slightly, he reached for Erik's hand, running his thumb soothingly over its back once it was within his grasp.

“We'll find your memories soon, Erik. I promise.”

“That doesn't answer my question!” Desperation sharpened the words harshly. El winced at the tone, and Erik's heart seized with regret on the following heartbeat.

“Like I said, it isn't fair on you. Have you given any thought to how you'd feel if we try reminiscing? How lonely and isolated you'd feel if I started happily recounting something we did, only to find that you could no longer relate to it?”

_Are you sure you're not just trying to run away from _ your _feelings? _Erik's heart screamed at him. He balled his fist against the outrage and quickly dismissed the idea of saying it aloud, already distressed enough over causing El pain. El's hand lightly squeezed his, and with a heavy breath, Erik willed himself to unwind.

_El has a point too._

“My feelings are still right here,” Erik stated calmly, lightly smacking his free palm over his chest. “And I know what they are. But you have a point. That probably wouldn't feel great.”

His gaze rose to meet El's, and his heart soared as the other smiled, both relaxing their shoulders as the tension drained from them.

“Truce?”

Erik offered his free hand with a shaky attempt at a joking smirk. His confidence grew when El laughed softly, nodding delightedly as he gripped the other's wrist. Their grins could rival both the sun and Yggdrasil's light as they shook on it.

“I'll hold you to that promise, you know. And when I get my memories back, can we go back to how our relationship was?”

“I'd like that,” El admitted softly.

“Good. Now that that's over with,” Erik paused, his stomach rumbling loudly. “Can we get breakfast?”

Once more, the brunet nodded, leading him to breakfast by the hand.

Sylv greeted the pair joyfully in the hallway, a tray filled with cooked meals and drinks resting effortlessly on each of their hands. They passed the first plate to El, the other going to Erik with a welcoming smile and a relieved twinkle in their grey eye.

“Good afternoon, little loves. How did you both sleep?”

“Better than I have in days,” Erik admitted shyly. His adoration for El brought enough comfort to override the jarring lack of familiarity, but he could not recall enough about the rest of the crew to be confident about them.

Sylv nodded sympathetically, and the pang of guilt in Erik's chest resurfaced. Before he could dwell on it, however, the tall person before him swept their hands to rest above their shoulder as a leg tucked up behind them, accompanied by a strange yell of delight.

“That's _wonderful, _Erik dear! Eat as much as you want, and don't be afraid to ask for more, alright? And don't let me catch you feeling bad about doing so.” Sylv waggled their finger in the air between them to emphasise their point. “Or else I will be forced to make you laugh!”

Erik smiled timidly. Whilst he was still uncertain about the others, at least Sylv was funny, their playful words feeling nothing like the supposed threat the sentence held.

“Will you be joining us in the dining room, or would you prefer to stay there?”

Erik froze, glancing to El uncertainly. El stared back at him thoughtfully for a moment before smiling and turning back to Sylv.

“It might be best to help him form new memories for now.”

Relieved and surprised at the words, Erik nodded numbly. Sylv contentedly returned the gesture, wished them a good day, and sauntered up the stairs that led to the deck.

“What's with the change of heart?” Erik muttered, stunned. The other turned to study his expression carefully.

“You were right too. You still have feelings now, and ignoring them to try to bring back the past was wrong of me. I'm sorry for that. So, are you with me, partner?” He reached towards him amicably.

Erik blinked blankly for a moment before chuckling, shifting the tray carefully to not spill its contents as he slapped his outstretched hand. “Sure am, partner.”

With a grin, El turned and led the way to the dining room, keeping the tray braced against his shoulder to open the door.

Erik's grin fell as he stepped into the room, filled with the stares of partial strangers watching the door. Sensing his unease, El cleared his throat until the others averted their gaze. Gratitude washed away most of his anxiety as he settled at the place next to his closest friend. When he felt comfortable to, he spared each person an appraising glance.

Hendrik appeared to be as nervous as he was, gaze fixed on his meal and shoulders taut beneath his brocade tunic. Seeing such a mountain of a man just as uncomfortable with the staring as he was set a part of him at ease. Something about him caused a mixture of anger and fear to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but as the reason was locked behind a wall of blankness and El was clearly comfortable with all of them, he fought the stubborn sensation away.

Rab was filling the silence with the sounds of feasting, occasionally pausing to strike up a conversation with either El or Jade. He paid attention to everyone with the same patience and an equal amount of time, what was presumably a fond smile beneath his moustache crinkling the corners of his bright eyes and reddening his cheeks each time he turned his gaze to Erik. The gesture caused Erik to bashfully run his hand through his unruly spikes, warming his cheeks as fiercely as it did his heart. Nothing but a boundless, patient love for them, likely cultivated over untold years of parenting, was what he offered.

Jade felt his eyes upon her almost immediately, turning a polite, relieved smile to him as she raised her goblet slightly. Despite the sharpness of her features, her eyes were kind, and the lines of her sculpted biceps were relaxed. She radiated a capable aura, confident in her abilities, and he soon noticed that he trusted her to protect them if any monsters appeared. Her violet eyes grew brighter as his uneasy smile lost the tension at its edges.

El's leg brushed against his beneath the table and Erik jumped, cursing in a foreign language as his knee struck the board hard enough to knock a spoon to the floor. Everyone jolted, Jade already standing with her hands firmly flattened on the table in front of her, Hendrik with his own reflexively in the air before him. El bit his lip regretfully, apologetically raising both eyebrows at him.

“S-sorry,” Erik mumbled, leaning down to collect the spoon and avoid their eyes. “I'm okay, really.”

When he set the spoon amongst the small pile of dirty dishes amid the table decorations, he noticed that Jade and Hendrik were still eyeing him with concern, although they had returned to their previous positions. El was listening to Rab, eyes downcast and biting his lip harder. Erik, wondering what was wrong, began paying attention to Rab's words.

“Och, I'm tellin' ye, laddie, ye cannae keep treating the boy as though all is as it was! Ye'll have yer work cut out fer ye if ye keep it up. Don't think ye can hide it from me - I was yer age once too, I'll have ye know.”

“Sorry, Grandad,” El muttered grimly, his voice adopting a drawling lilt in his dismay. It felt odd, his accent so thick that Erik could barely understand his words. “It was somefink we did before we was together, so I thought it'd be okay. I should've asked first.”

Rab's face softened, the skin between his eyes relaxing as his eyebrows returned to their usual position. He reached across the table to gently rest his palm upon El's arm.

“I's alright, my boy. So long as ye know what ye've done so ye can learn from it.”

El nodded, casting another melancholic glance at Erik.

“I'm okay,” Erik said again. “I was just surprised, that's all.”

His hand came to rest on El's shoulder. The gesture stunned Erik with how natural it felt, his lips pulling into an effortless smile as the brunet gazed sweetly into his face.

They returned to their food after a moment, the rest of the meal progressing without incident. Jade bade them a good day before striding from the room, her footfalls echoing down the corridors and reverberating through the wooden walls as she marched towards a task doubtlessly requiring strength. Hendrik quietly excused himself, piling every dish and utensil onto a tray so that he might retreat to the kitchen.

Rab remained seated, waving his hand idly at the pair with the excuse that they should get some fresh air. Erik suspected that he stayed to settle his stomach after eating too much, but no longer cared when El excitedly laced their fingers and dragged him towards the deck. When they reached the foot of the stairs, the ship lurched, and Erik braced himself against the wall, his eyes closing tightly. El stopped to support him, waiting patiently until the swaying ceased, then smiled brilliantly when the other laughed under his breath. Hand in hand, they ascended until the open air greeted them.

The breeze caressing the deck gave Erik pause, his scalp tingling as it threaded between each strand. His eyes, still closed from before, added to the pleasure of his freedom from the stagnant air below. Every breath filled with cool salt air came easier than the last, the fresh air revitalising him, relaxing each muscle in his chest and face.

An endless blue sky stretched out before him, bobbing pleasantly as the ship coursed through the waves, and met the sea with each gentle tilt downwards. Nothing could have prepared him for how free he would feel seeing the world once more.

Or for how quickly it would all fall away when he opened his eyes.

El waited for him expectantly, watching the joy in his face and the minute flickers of his eyes beneath his eyelids. An icy fist clenched around his heart as he watched the peace change to dismay when clarity returned to Erik's cobalt gaze.

The sky was a frightful purple, blackened like an untreated wound, and smelled just as putrid. The wind, once pleasant, ran its clammy claws along his cheek, chilling him to his bones. An evil, sickly feeling pervaded the air around them, neither the wool nor linen of his tunic providing protection against the unnatural aura.

Erik shuddered heavily, rubbing his arms as El hurriedly pulled a cloak around his shoulders.

_Fate is far too cruel, letting me remember all that before taking it away..._

El wrapped his arm around his back, urging him to sit between the upper stairs and the bridge, promising that doing so would help with the chill. Erik dropped to the deck with a hefty thud, pressing himself against the two walls and leaving room for the other. However, El refused, instead standing before him as a windbreak. His own cloak whipped around his calves in the harsh winds, but his very presence helped Erik breathe a little easier, the oppressive sky losing much of its edge against the brunet's calm figure.

Under El's direction, Erik pulled his dagger from his beltpack. Its weight was reassuring in his palms, the coarse stitching digging into his bare fingertips as he stared down at it. Carefully, he slid it from its sheath and examined the weapon from every angle that he could manage.

Countless scratches marred the blade's surface, some tarnishing even the crossguard. It was clear that it had been in many battles; some harder than others, if the varying depths of the gouges were any indication. Erik began to wonder if it truly belonged to him, or if he had stolen it as he had every other good thing in his life.

“_Every scratch tells a story. That goes for objects, and people, too.”_

Erik closed his eyes tightly, chasing the distant memory. Nothing came to him other than a flash of blue and the understanding that the voice probably belonged to a girl.

He ran his thumb along the ridge that divided the blade, taking note of as many gouges as he could feel. The gentle cold press of the iron was refreshing compared to the humid clutches of the dense air. After he had gleaned everything he could from the dagger, he sheathed it once more before slipping it into his pouch.

A chill wind struck the ship from the port side as they sailed past an icy mountain, drawing a shout from Sylv as they instructed Davé to correct the course. It was as fresh as Erik had envisioned before, although it was unaccompanied by his elusive blue sky. The thought brought a pang to his heart.

A flash of white snapped his attention to El's face, where his breath was misting in front of him. A tiny white ball floated down towards him, and he reached his hand up to watch it land on his gloved palm.

“It's snowing,” El murmured softly, watching another white fleck fall into Erik's hair.

The former thief stared intently at the fall of each snowflake, suddenly feeling at ease.

_Is this what home feels like?_

“Hey, El?” Erik mumbled, eyes never leaving the sky as snowflakes swirled in a harsh breeze. El hummed attentively. “Was I born here or something? It feels... familiar.”

“I don't know,” El answered truthfully, the corners of his mouth tightening glumly. “You never spoke about 'home'. Although, you told me once that you didn't have one, but I said that everyone has had a home at least once.”

“I see,” Erik sighed nonchalantly, stretching steadily to loosen up muscles that felt uncomfortably tight against the fresh cold. “Thanks.”

The ship veered hard, followed by an earsplitting rumble that reverberated through boards and bones alike, along with muffled shouts of outrage and shock.

“All non-combatants below deck _immediately,_” Sylv cried forcefully, their rapier already drawn as they slid along the rope tied to the main sail with one gloved hand. A vicious whip, curled tightly at their hip, shifted into view when they landed neatly. “The rest of you honies, prepare for the fight of your lives!”

Erik had no time to process the order before El scooped him into his arms. He clung to El's shoulders with a strength that astonished him, his yell of surprise turning to one of terror as an enormous wave crashing overhead fell away to reveal an equally massive monster, toothy grin seeming to mock them from what could be seen past El's hair as he ran. Before the stairs got in the way, Erik saw strange golden monsters and scaly fiends trickling onto the deck from the rigging below. The pair thundered down the steps, El kicking the door to Erik's temporary room open before dropping him on the bed as carefully as he could in a hurry.

“Stay right there until I come get you,” he ordered swiftly, his back already turned as he drew his swords.

“Wait!” Erik called, but El had already locked the door between them, his pounding footsteps leading towards the stairs. Waves of blending emotions washed over him, his wide, fearful eyes flitting across the room as an angry scream rippled through him, slamming his fist into the mattress hard enough to dent it. He brought his clenched fists to his lap, teeth gritted as he clasped the one that stung.

_It's true... As I am now, I'd only get in the way. But how can I just sit here and do _ nothing _?! They're out there risking their lives for me!_

As he leapt to his feet, another crash resounded throughout the ship, hurling him back onto the bed. Self-loathing filled him so intensely that his vision left him for several minutes. Squeezing his eyes shut did little to clear the whiteness. Frustrated and subdued, he held his head between his palms, gripping at his hair as he fought the tears that threatened to form.

_Why am I so useless? A weak little monster could burst through that door at any moment and I wouldn't be able to do a thing!_

As though summoned by his intrusive thoughts, the door surged open with enough force to splinter against the opposing wall. Erik scrambled backwards, tucking himself tightly in the corner as he reached unfeelingly for his dagger.

For as small as he made himself, it did little in the end, Gyldenbritches leaning across the bed and grabbing him by the wrist, yanking him off his feet in one swift motion. Erik shrieked in pain, the dagger forgotten in his pouch as he scrabbled to release the monster's grip, kicking uselessly at either empty air or a bone-shattering piece of armour. In a last desperate attempt at freedom, he set his feet against Gyldenbritches' breastplate, leaning his full, flimsy weight backwards and twisting his wrist.

The futility of his escape attempts struck him harder than any blow, stealing the air from his lungs and causing his vision to swim horridly. Grief and fear clawed at his insides, intense and nauseating. The creature swung his body through the air effortlessly, as though testing a new weapon. Erik felt lightheaded briefly before the sensations overwhelmed him, and there was only darkness. His body fell limply against Gyldenbritches' side.

As the creature clambered up the steps and ambled towards its own ship, El watched with horror as Erik's unconscious body crashed against the fiend's broad back with every step.

“Erik! _Erik!_” El screamed fearfully, kicking and weaving his way past the monsters that littered the deck between them. Just as he lunged for Erik's legs, Alizarin swept his enormous arm across the battlefield, catching El across the stomach and sending humans and monsters alike flying and sprawling across the ship.

He barely caught the lip of the ship, only the soggy planks and rigging keeping him from being flung overboard. Rab grabbed his arm and helped him aboard, his tight grip compensating for his soaked skin. Sylv fought off monsters whilst Hendrik heaved himself to his feet, the combination of heavy armour and slippery conditions reducing his mobility to nothing.

Jade followed El's previous strategy, more aware of her surroundings than he had been, but even her agility was no match for the terrain. Alizarin crashed his slimy paws onto the deck, rocking the boat sharply, and Jade's foot caught against a monster corpse, slipping in the surrounding mixture of blood and seawater. Her knee struck the armour with a sickening crunch as she fell backwards, hurtling towards the end of the ship furthest from where she needed to be.

By the time anyone could reach the bridge again, the ship holding Erik captive was sailing towards the mainland, swallowed by a thick fog.

“No!” El sobbed, regret and worry stealing his breath. Jade threw herself at him, guiding their roll away from Alizarin's crushing strike.

She held him tightly as she pulled them to their feet, frowning as she urgently caught his gaze.

“El, listen to me. We _will_ rescue him later, but now isn't the time to lose yourself. We have to get out of this alive, or else Erik has no chance.”

El nodded unhappily, gulping air into his lungs. She kissed his temple hurriedly before equipping her claws and leaping high to plunge them into Alizarin's palm. The giant bellowed ferociously, clumsily trying to shake her off. Following her lead, the party rejoined the fray, soon discovering the secret to vanquishing the sentinel once and for all.

As the creature plummeted backwards into the depths it once called home, the party huddled together, miserably supporting one another while they watched it float lifelessly to the surface. Sylv held El sorrowfully, their face tucked into his shoulder as they shared his pain. Jade rested her arm where the pair's shoulders joined, curled against El's side as Rab wrapped a bandage around her injured leg. Hendrik, standing awkwardly beside them, broke his silence to offer his condolences, metal-clad fist striking his own chest as he vowed to defend them more fiercely in future.

Finally, Sylv lifted their head, gently wiping El's tears with their sleeve.

“It's time to stand strong and face the spotlight, darling. Those brutes had better watch their backs, for we are not to be trifled with!”

Sniffling, El dabbed at his face with his own sleeve, a small, hopeful smile springing to his lips.

* * *

Erik awoke on filthy straw bedding that did little to cushion the hard, freezing stone beneath. His harsh breathing rasped in his ears, and his arm ached horridly, battered and possibly dislocated. Darkness continued to pervade his vision, but blinking cleared enough of it to make out his surroundings when he tried again. Patting his uninjured hand against his belt, he was relieved to find his dagger still pressing against his hip through the pouch. Knowing that it was still with him calmed him, but as his breathing eased considerably, his heart ached as thoughts of the dagger brought memories of El. Erik made himself sit upright against the wall, gently resting his head against the dark stone. He held tightly to what he remembered of El, to the hope that the name alone brought him.

_El will come for me. I just know he won't abandon me; he's not like everyone else._

The quiet crackling of a lit torch somewhere beyond his room reminded him of warmth, and his lips curled into a fond smirk.

_Oh, El... Get here soon, won't you?_

A scraping sound startled him out of his reverie, and he made himself as small as possible when the scuffling turned to rattling and clinking. Silence echoed in his ears for a few heartbeats, then the crash of a hard object striking iron bars brought pain to every limb as he flinched. A cruel, grating laugh rang below the noise, followed by more silence and an oddly pleasant aroma. Waiting attentively for any further signs of danger, the only other sound that reached him was the growling of his own stomach. Erik laughed disbelievingly at his own nerves before digging into his meal with gusto.

No sooner had he finished the food and lain down on his bedding than the sounds of fighting distantly echoed to him. Straining his ears, he could just identify El shouting in a strange language, then an explosion of dust, light and thunderous noise hindered his senses. He was vaguely aware of gold and charred bodies hurtling past the space in front of him as he coughed.

Then there was El. Standing before him, face grimly determined as he gripped the bars of his cell, the background behind him lit by swirling wisps of dust and firelight. The visage of an angel.

Erik smiled up at him in a daze, watching as Sylv crouched beside him and worked at picking the lock. The cell door swung open and El's arms were tightly wrapped around him before he could blink. Erik was numb to all pain as he hugged him with the same fervour, closing his eyes against his chest. All was right with the world.

Jade guided them to their feet, gently ushering them out of the cramped cell.

“We need to leave before reinforcements arrive,” she whispered urgently.

The pair nodded, El clutching Erik to his side with every step. Sylv took the lead, peering nimbly around corners and gesturing towards them when the coast was clear, whilst Hendrik guarded the rear. With their guidance, the party soon cleared the cavern, hurrying across the snowy landscape to keep warm. Sylv, deciding that there was no time to waste with elegance, ordered Hendrik to break the lock on the rundown shack. A swift blow with the knob of his axe cleaved the lock from its frame. Jade gently pushed the door open and the party hurried inside, quick to fasten the door closed behind them.

“Och, that was close,” Rab muttered, closing his tired eyes with a low chuckle.

El and Erik tensed in each other's arms as they assessed the room. The brunet's eyes never left the Yggdrasil root climbing the frozen wall.

Erik began trembling as he gasped for breath, gripping his head when he groaned in pain.

“Something terrible happened here,” Jade breathed, wrapping her arm around the boys' backs as she studied the aura flooding the room.

Sylv crouched at the edge of what appeared to be a pile of gold, a tight-lipped frown marring their face.

“I would wager that it has something to do with this Gold Fever the poor dears of Sniflheim informed us of.”

“Crivens,” Rab said, his eyes widening minutely as his gaze followed that of his grandson's. “Is that what I think it is? Well, go on, laddie. Let's see what it is Her Holiness would have us know.”

Reluctantly, El gave Erik over to Jade's care and crept towards the root, hand outstretched. He turned to scan their faces, taking note of their expressions. Rab and Hendrik stared back at him expectantly. Jade and Sylv, however, watched him uncertainly, concerned with Erik's wellbeing. Erik had yet to stop trembling, and now whimpered unsteadily.

“Are you ready to face your memories, love?” El questioned quietly. Biting his lip and swallowing thickly, Erik nodded.

The Luminary lay his palm gently upon the vine, a warm yellow glow washing over the party. Glimmering like spectral figures, they watched as a solid, younger Erik struggled with small crates. An even younger girl strolled into view, and soon after she scornfully spoke the words “dear brother,” the Erik that the party held screamed and fell to his knees, his knuckles white as they clenched around his hair. The vision faded shortly afterwards.

“Mia!” he cried, the yell echoing around the tunnel and cutting off with a strangled sob. His chest heaved as he gripped at his hood, struggling to breathe. “Mia, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't protect you!”

El ran to him, kneeling in front of him. Erik grabbed his sides, tugging him close to cry loudly into his chest.

“You have to forgive me!”

“Shh...” El soothed, carding his hand through Erik's hair. “It's alright, my sweet. I've got you.”

Erik shook his head rapidly, the movement dizzying.

“She's gone... and it's all my fault.”

Rab cast his gaze back to the root, which still pulsed with a soft glow.

“I think She has more to show ye, laddie.”

“Is this truly alright?” Sylv questioned, their arm curled around their stomach and side as the other rested beneath their chin. “The poor dear is in an awful state.”

“Should we not be done with this whole sorry affair as soon as can be?” Rab returned, frowning with concern. “Have all the pain done upfront so he can recover later?”

“But mending the mind is not quite the same as treating a wound. We cannot know what the lasting effects will be! I shudder to think of what more harm we could cause.”

Jade raised her palm and cleared her throat forcefully, cutting the ensuing argument short.

“What do you think we should do, El?”

El lifted his pained expression to face her, Erik sniffling quietly in his arms.

“I... I don't know. I've never had to do this before.”

She nodded compassionately, moving to rest her hand on his crown and run her fingers through his silky locks. She gazed down at Erik sadly.

“Both of them make a valid argument. We cannot say for certain if doing this will aid his recovery or hurt him further. With that being said,” she paused, watching as Erik lifted his head and fixed her with a determined if teary expression. “I believe that it may be better if we hurry this along.”

“A-alright. Are you ready, Erik?”

Erik nodded firmly.

El returned to the root, holding tightly onto Erik's hand as he activated the remaining visions. When the light receded, no longer flickering through the root, Erik sighed softly. He shakily ran a hand through his hair, some semblance of his old confidence filling his movements.

“I... I remember now. Mia, you. ...Us. I'm sorry for all the pain I've put you through these past few days.”

Erik brought their entwined hands to his lips, pressing them to the back of El's. His eyes shone with an unshakeable promise.

“Let's go get Mia back. Then I'll prove how much I remember about us.”

He grinned as El's face broke into a smile so vibrant that it could put the World Tree to shame. As a new strength flooded through his veins, allowing him to feel capable for the first time in months, he turned to his ragtag family. Their bright, delighted smiles filled his chest with a burning pride.

Erik had never considered himself fortunate before, but despite all the pain, fear and horrors he had endured over his lifetime, he knew in that moment that there had never been a place more pleased to have him than the hearts of these people. And soon, when this tremendous part of their journey was over, he would introduce them to Mia as the greatest treasures to ever exist.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it just me, or did just about everyone lose what was most important to them in Act 2? El with his  
p̵a̵r̵t̵y̵ family; Hendrik his lifelong companion and his kingdom; Jade her autonomy; Erik his memories, both of the emotional strength he's grown over the years and of his beloved sister; and Serena the other half of her soul. I'm not certain as to what Rab and Sylv lost apart from their newfound family though.


End file.
